Feel like a kid on the Christmas Eve - can’t sleep.
Tomorrow I have my first day of work at a new job. Pretty keen to hang with the kiddies at a child care centre.
If only I could switch off and actually sleep!!
Sometimes I’m scared
that my love of silence and solitude will see me being single forever.
And I don’t even like cats so I won’t even be a happy old cat lady. I’ll just be single and lonely as fuck.
Today has been so freakin miserable. I’m sad but for no particular reason. I’m frustrated with depression. So ridiculously frustrated. I’ve been fighting back tears and feel so heavy and empty and just fucking depressed.
I just want to be held. In bed. Strong, protective arms around me, making me feel better til the pain goes away.
But that’s not going to happen. Not any time soon. And so the spiral continues.
I cannot wait
to get my room carpeted, move my bed and furniture in, unpack the last box and finally be able to rest and enjoy my (new) home.
All this fuckin around with painting, carpeting, living out of boxes, not having all my “stuff” around me and sleeping in a single ass bed is getting on my last nerve.
It’s only been a week, but hot damn it’s been a long one! =\
Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all – look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.
– Zooey Deschanel (via shoes-anne)This is so beautiful xx
(Source: sugar-and-heartbreak)
Via Always GoldOf course the guy who bought my couches when I moved away from Newy is a handsome Irishman who says I’m cute and wants to hang out.
Fuck my life.
About me
Hey, I'm Bel and this is my Wonderland... I firmly believe that every single person has a story worthy of being told and here is where I shall share mine.
I find peace in writing. In sharing what I know. What I'm learning. What I'm still pondering.
I try to find beauty in the every day. To find something extraordinary and worthy of celebration and contemplation.
Some days it's just there. Other days I have to fight to see it. But every day I try.
It's my hope that in sharing my findings this little place will become a true to life fairytale. A place of reflection and beauty and marvel and peace.
Truly a Wonderland of all things Ellis...
xx
